Cherilynn Veland, LCSW, MSW

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"My focus is to help every individual make positive change happen - to help them create a better life for themselves. It is so fulfilling to be part of such an important process."
 

Specializing In

Lincoln Park Counseling recently in Chicago Tribune

Couples and pre-marital counseling were the subject of a recent Chicago Tribune piece. Lincoln Park Counseling's Cherilynn Veland was quoted and her perspicacious insights can be read Here or below

Before saying 'I do,' make couples counseling a to-do

By Louis R. Carlozo

TRIBUNE REPORTER

February 1, 2009

It's almost wedding time, and you've attacked that list of to-dos with true go-getter gumption. Centerpieces? Check. Photographer? Check. Caterer? Check.

But one more matter calls for serious consideration: premarital counseling.

Premarital huh?

"People take up to 12 months to plan a wedding, obsessing over flowers and a dress they'll wear for 6 to 12 hours," says Cherilynn Veland, a licensed clinical social worker who runs Lincoln Park Counseling. "But you have to spend that kind of time and energy looking into your premarital counseling."

Many religious institutions offer the service, often supervised by the person performing the wedding. But scores of couples—whether marrying outside a religious setting or looking for independent guidance—need help that's either more clinical or more informal.

Independent counseling and premarriage coaching exists, and it's plentiful. But you have to pursue it with gusto.

"It's a tough job," says Veland, who customizes her approach based on the unique issues her couples face. "Couples need someone who's good at assessing their strengths, and helping them shore those up. And you need to make sure that whoever you're meeting with, you have a trusting connection and similar goals."

A typical round of premarriage counseling might consist of a half-dozen sessions, and it's not uncommon for future husbands and wives to vent. Veland and others say tiffs over table cards or invitation lettering often point to deeper issues of trust and mutual respect.

"The first thing I do is provide an assessment," Veland says. "I'm trying to see why they came here. Are there communication difficulties? Who are their relationship role models? Were they healthy or unhealthy?"

To find a counselor that's right, Veland suggests, "Talk to people who are both newly married and have done the research, and people who have been married 30 or 40 years and have a great therapist in their support system."

One couple married for 32 years has turned their passion for successful marriage into a business. Jim and Sheri Mueller run Growthtrac Ministries out of their home in northwest suburban Algonquin. Trained through Willow Creek Community Church, the Muellers offer premarriage mentoring to couples regardless of faith.

"We meet weekly; the location is negotiable," Jim Mueller says. "We try to find someplace that is neutral and comfortable. We've mentored at homes, church offices, but we're actually mentoring one couple at a Caribou Coffee."

Growthtrac uses Prepare-Enrich, an assessment tool that measures 12 areas of compatibility, including communication, conflict resolution and spiritual beliefs. "We find that it's very, very accurate and gives us a running start when dealing with couples," Mueller says.

(www.chicagotribune.com/features/lifestyle/chi-0201-wedding-counselingfeb01,0,1927338.story)

 
 
Lincoln Park Counseling: a new name for a top Chicago therapist practice.

"Making the initial call is so important," says Cherilynn Veland, LCSW, MSW, of the therapy process. "People are so comfortable calling to have their air conditioning or heater repaired, yet when it comes to dealing with their life, relationships, and how they feel, they tend to want to try to handle it on their own. Just because you can do it on your own doesn’t necessarily mean you should. Why make it harder on yourself? It is a strength to reach out, make yourself vulnerable, and get help."

Especially, Veland continues, during these rough economic times. "The economy has had an enormous impact on people who are working professionals. There are layoffs, professions that previously were very lucrative like trading and real estate are suddenly grinding to a halt. There is added tensions and fears at home. These pressures cause problems that were already there to enlarge and cause new problems to emerge. People begin using substances to cope. 'Anger cycles' accelerate."

On what to look for when finding a therapist, Veland says: "An initial discussion is an important benchmark before moving forward. Find out if the therapist is comfortable working with the problems you need help with. Make sure they have any openings in their schedule. Find out if their availability matches yours, how much the rate is, and how long you have to wait for your first appointment."

Veland has experience with a full spectrum of client, but has created a specialty with couples counseling and anxiety disorders, and plans to build on her knowledge base in these two areas with Lincoln Park Counseling. On being aware of the symptoms of anxiety disorders, Veland says:

"I like to break anxiety down into two categories. The first thing to be aware of are the physical symptoms: shortness of breath, chest pain, feeling numbness or tingling, sweaty palms, nervous stomach, headaches, loss of concentration, insomnia. Second, there are psychological symptoms: feeling fearful or overwhelmed by one’s problem/problems, having repetitive intrusive thoughts, worrying about the same thing over and over, feeling easily agitated.

"Anxiety is fear and fear is one of the more disturbing of human emotions. I would say that having any of the above symptoms or feeling bothered enough by it that you would like to do something about it is a good enough reason. Who wants to feel anxious?"

Lincoln Park Counseling will also build on Veland's years of experience with couples counseling:

"Couples counseling is very challenging for a variety of reasons," she says. "I like to say it is like having several different clients in the room at one time: the couple, the couple’s past relationships, their parents beliefs, values, and the relationships they modeled. Add in as well society's roles and our own expectations. The list is endless. Couples need someone who is confident, insightful, experienced, and able to manage a complexity of issues."

Finally, Veland mentions that the change of name will not change the philosophy of her practice: "I have a small, more intimate practice. Unlike bigger agencies where you have limited control over who you are linked with, you either get me or referred elsewhere. I take a limited amount of clients so that I can give them and their care my fullest attention. I tend to make strong connections with my clients, and I believe that a strong foundation is what makes the client/therapist relationship so effective in providing psychological growth."

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